Great Relationships: More Than Just Being Nice?

We would all like to have great relationships — relationships that are fun and deeply satisfying.  Relationships that make us feel great.  But what is it exactly about a relationship that makes us feel great?  One simple answer might be that what makes a great relationship is one where people are “nice to each other”.  This may be part of the story, but I’m guessing it’s not the whole thing — I suspect there’s more to a great relationship than just “being nice”.

For example, we probably all know people who are “nice” but boring.  We might even have common interests with someone and yet we just don’t enjoy being around them.  There are many people we hang out with and do things with, and with some people we simply have a better time than with others.  We might even enjoy our friends who tell us what they really think of us (even when it’s negative) more than other friends who are are more “considerate of our feelings” who try to only say positive things about us.  Then again, we might not.  At any rate, what makes a relationship enjoyable seems to be more than just “being nice”.  But what does make a relationship highly enjoyable?  I don’t think this is an easy question, but I’d like to explore this question further.